Who’s Got Your Back?

Who’s Got Your Back?

  Everyone needs someone to have their back. I think of Goose and Maverick, Ponch and Jon, Thelma and Louise, Danny and Kenickie. Obviously, these are a bit over-dramatized, but you get the idea. We all want to know that someone is looking out for us. A lot of us do it every single day. In my life, lenders have the back of the borrower and ultimately, me, their Realtor. As a Realtor, I have my client’s back. I advocate for them, making sure they are getting the best deal possible and doing my best to anticipate any pitfalls so we can avoid them. Doctors advocate for their patients, teachers advocate for students and PETA advocates for animals. Align yourself with those that will do what they do best and have your back in matters in which they excel. If you cave in at the sight of the perfect sports car, take an unemotional friend to the car lot with you. If are looking for the job of your dreams, seek out a recruiter that only works with the best companies in your field. If you are buying or selling a house, hire a Realtor who has a track record of exceeding client expectations. It’s nice to know someone has our back. Most of us would appreciate it if someone stuck up for us if they overheard something untrue at the watercooler. We would be grateful if another child told a bully to back off our son. So, if we appreciate when others have our back, we need to make sure we are doing that for someone else. We’re all busy. We “don’t have time” to get involved. But how much time would it take to stand up for a friend or co-worker? Or to give one night a month to a cause involving those that can’t speak for themselves? When you are making big life decisions, make sure you know who’s got your back. And when someone else needs a little help, be their...

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The Art of Saying “No”

The Art of Saying “No”

  Is the word, “no” a hard word for you to say? Do you have trouble telling people you can’t or won’t do something? I have learned the art of saying, “No”. Are you ready for it? Here it is. Ahem. “No.” Ground breaking, huh? My real estate team posts our Quote of the Day every weekday. The picture on this blog is of one we posted several months back. No really is a full sentence, no explanation needed. So many times I will hear people that feel they need to explain themselves. I used to be one of them. I recall sitting down during an interview process for a Director position for our regional BNI and being asked what I needed help with (the equivalent of “what are your weaknesses). I knew the answer immediately. The answer was ironic due to the fact that I was being asked to take on a leadership role with extra responsibilities in my already full life. My answer was, “I need to learn how to say, “No”.” Ultimately, that was all I needed. I needed to say it out loud – much like an alcoholic publicly admits their infirmity at an AA meeting. I felt relief and freedom. Freedom to just say, “No” without explanation. So many of us fill our lives with meaningless things that we don’t need to be doing. We want to be helpful and that’s a good thing. I also think a lot of us start to feel guilty if we say, “No,” and don’t give in to the pressures of community, responsibility, or even family obligations. There are certainly worthwhile causes and ways we can help if we feel we should or need to. Remember, though, that the more we say, “Yes,” to, the less each cause or deed actually gets our attention. Why not choose a few things that we feel we can devote to and do those things well? Lest you think I have got it all together, I am definitely preaching to the choir here. So, let’s try it together. Question: Can you help me put this Ikea furniture together? Answer: No. Question: Would you like to be the Chair of the committee this year? You’ve done such a great job and we really want to take things to a new level and know you are the one to get us there. It will require 10 hours a week and you’re the only one without a full-time job. Answer: No. Question: Will you cut your commission? Answer: No. Question: Are you able to stay late tonight to help me? I’ve been on vacation and not had time to work on this project. Answer: No....

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I’ll Be Honest with You

I’ll Be Honest with You

  Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and they say, “I’ll be honest with you”? Or have you said it yourself? What does that really mean? Does that mean that everything else that you or they said before or say after that statement, isn’t true? If we are people of our word, why would that phrase even be in our vocabulary? If it is a phrase we feel necessary because we have been “sugarcoating” what we are saying, then maybe we need to “be honest” and say what needs to be said. One of my daily affirmations is that I tell people what they need to know, not what they want to hear. Am I right all the time? Is my opinion or perspective the only one? Of course not. But, if you are a Southerner like I have become, we tend to shy away from the tough discussions. We want everyone to be happy to our face and then “bless their heart” once they’re out of earshot. I’m not suggesting we be rude or mean. I’m just suggesting we not be so scared, disinterested, lazy, or un-involved NOT to tell someone something they need to know. I moved to Nashville over 20 years ago with very little fashion sensibility whatsoever. I worked with a girl who was older than me and was much more learned in such matters. In a very kind way, she told me that I had a bit fuller eyebrow than was necessary and that I would be much happier with less. You know what happened? I made an appointment with someone she knew and I looked a lot better! Now I look back at those pictures (and many others) and I laugh at those brows! I have had more than one person give me constructive criticism about my business and social media. I know some people don’t want to say anything constructive or “honest” because they aren’t sure of the way the other person may take it. So what? That is not your problem. Your job is to be honest. If someone asks your opinion or more importantly, if someone hires you, you must tell them the truth. It isn’t always fun telling someone that they need to neutralize wall color, put Grandma’s teapot collection away, or move out old, dated furniture, but I am hired to tell people the truth about what is going to help their house sell the fastest for the most money. It isn’t always easy to tell the hopeful home buyer that they are not going to get what they want, where they want, at the price they can afford but it is my job not to get...

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Getting Help During the Big Move: Family, Friends, or Pros?

Getting Help During the Big Move: Family, Friends, or Pros?

      From time to time, we have guest bloggers write articles that we feel would be beneficial to our readers. This article is perfect for seniors or those that might have aging family members needing to make a move. It’s time to move, and you know you can’t do it on your own. You have years of accumulated stuff, a looming moving to-do list, and not nearly enough time, energy, or patience to handle it all yourself. So who do you turn to for help? Here, we weigh the most popular options and explain why each one may or may not be the right choice. Friends: Pros and Cons A lot of people turn to their friends when it’s time to move, thinking they can can save money and return the favor the next time their friends move. For seniors looking to relocate, this isn’t the most feasible option for a number of reasons. For one, even if you have young, able-bodied friends, you’re unlikely to be able to offer the same kind of help when they need it. And helping someone move calls for a display of gratitude beyond a fruit basket or gift card. Unless you can offer a favor of equal value in return, using the assistance of friends could breed resentment. Furthermore, if your move causes someone to become injured, resentment could be the least of your worries. Friends don’t have the same level of concern for your belongings as you do. While you may want things handled with care and packed a certain way, your friends probably just want to finish the task as quickly as possible. This could lead to damages that you can’t recoup without straining relationships. For reasons like these, the cost savings simply aren’t worth the risk. Family: Pros and Cons For many seniors preparing for a move, adult children seem like the obvious choice for moving assistance. Not only will they help for free, but they’ll respect the value of belongings and be understanding of how emotionally stressful moving can be for senior parents. If they have enough spare time, they might even help unpack and organize the new home. However, adult children may also share the same sentimental attachment to items that makes it so challenging for their parents to downsize and pack efficiently. If time is tight, you can’t afford to spend hours reminiscing over family photo albums or debating over which child inherits which heirloom. In addition, children and other family members could have strong opinions about what’s best for you in your new home, even when you disagree. When you’re in the midst of an already-stressful move, the last things you want to deal...

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